Why should I stop blaming someone for hurting me?

Jacob Teitelbaum
Integrative Medicine

When we feel something uncomfortable like anger, resentment, or hurt, it often taps into vast pools of old similar feelings that we carry around -- some conscious and some unconscious -- often from many decades ago.

By recognizing that no one is responsible for our feelings (and vice versa -- so let go of your self-guilt and blame, as well) it makes it easier to feel whatever is there. Remembering to drop the blame allows us to be conscious that we are presently experiencing pools of old feelings from years ago that relate to the past and not our present. If we do not let go of the blame, we keep having to amplify the story of how we were wronged to justify and understand why we feel so strongly about an event. This often occurs when our “buttons” are pushed. Relationships seem especially effective at pushing our buttons and bringing us into old feelings. That is one reason why relationships can seem so intolerable -- and healing -- at the same time.




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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.