Managing Negative Emotions

Managing Negative Emotions

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    A , Nutrition & Dietetics, answered
    When we have overindulged, the Critic (the ego's judgmental voice) berates us with harsh judgments such as:
    • You know you shouldn't have eaten that; now you'll gain weight.
    • You are such a glutton.
    • It wasn't enough to eat some of that; you had to go and eat the whole thing!
    • You're insatiable.
    • Eating like that is a sin. Repent or God will send you to hell.
    • You'll never get the body you want this way, and then you'll die fat, unhappy, and alone.
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    A , Nutrition & Dietetics, answered
    Compulsive eating stems from repressing feelings -- usually anger -- and may require therapy to heal. Everyone has repressed emotions, it only becomes a problem when they cause us to hurt others or to become self-destructive. In our innocence, we eat compulsively because we think that distracting ourselves from unpleasant feelings is the best way to take care of ourselves. We're uncomfortable and use food to create an experience that we hope will feel better.
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    A , Nutrition & Dietetics, answered
    When we tell ourselves that we're lazy or lack self-control or anything else that's negative, we're acting as the ego's mouthpiece. In those moments, we rattle off negative self-talk as if it's actually true. Thanks to countless repetitions and reinforcement, we eventually come to accept this negative rap as a factual depiction of who we are, and we no longer question it.

    Eating to feel better actually adds to the problem of low self-esteem by causing you to feel less attractive and worse about yourself. It’s a vicious circle: Eating the cookies brings a fleeting, nice taste in your mouth and momentary relief from a negative feeling, but then you berate yourself for not having any willpower and not losing weight.
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    A , Nutrition & Dietetics, answered
    Negative self-talk creates low self-esteem and, despite everything we've achieved, thoughts like "I'm no good" may still plague us. Negative self-talk is like a witch's incantation: It's mesmerizing. To break the spell, you need a powerful antidote: awareness. Set the intention to notice the way you habitually talk to yourself. When you notice yourself falling under a spell and a negative feeling is on the scene, ask, "What am I telling myself to make myself feel bad?" This interrupts the pattern.

    If a thought makes you feel bad, you can know that it's not true. Take any negative belief to inquiry and you discover that it never tells the whole truth. Just because you have a history of falling under a particular spell doesn't make it any less a lie. Once you see the lie, the spell is broken, and the negative self-talk no longer has any power over you. If those thoughts arise again, either replace them with positive thoughts, question them using inquiry, or turn away from them altogether.
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    A , Psychology, answered
    If you are being bullied as an adult, become clear on what you are really feeling: fear, shame, guilt, embarrassment, humiliation, failure… whatever the emotions are, you want to be clear on what is going on within you before you try to address the issue. If you need to write these out to become clear about it, it is a valuable exercise. Ask yourself, "What age(s) do I feel?" and really spend some time on this. Help yourself to see that you are stuck in other situations, and it is these parts of you that are reacting to the present situation, often not the "you" that is in the present. When we understand that our emotions are often stuck in past issues, we can make more knowledgeable choices on how to behave in the present.
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    A , Psychology, answered
    Often, the best strategy we can use to deal with financial fear is to logically look at our options, and if we can't see our way out, get some help from someone who can. In challenging economic times, you may need to consider getting help from experienced friends or professionals to help you work your way out of debt, enhance a resume, or explore the job market. Keeping our problems to ourselves seldom helps us succeed or learn.
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    A , Health Education, answered

    Let's play a game called "the hiding Buddha." The game is based on a tale in which the Buddha comes into the life of a monk disguised as his adversary. It is a way of shifting negative thoughts about someone into a moment of self-reflection and gratitude. The point is that no matter how much of a jerk someone is, he or she can still provide you with an opportunity for personal growth. Remember, your journey is not about making that person less of a jerk; it is always and only about you.

    So, here is what you do. The next time someone does something that gets you mad, imagine that she did not actually want to do it, but her Buddha-self accepted the task to help you reach enlightenment. Imagine that under her mean behavior is a smiling Buddha, who only wishes the best for you. Perceive where you are being tested in this situation, and where you can choose to act from your higher self. Say an inner thank-you and acknowledge how unpleasant it must be for her to have to act in such an obnoxious way. Then, take on the challenge of responding with compassion and gratitude.

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    A Geriatrics Nursing, answered on behalf of

    All areas of health are interconnected. They all need energy to function. You have a limited amount of energy available. Holding a grudge requires mental energy. It robs you of the energy you need for staying healthy in all areas. The bigger or more intense the grudge, the more energy it uses. If that grudge is part of a larger scenario that includes other grudges, maybe some general anger and frustration, it can consume so much of your energy that your ability to function well in your life is depleted. Your defenses against infection will be lowered. Eating and digesting the food you need stay healthy doesn't happen and you may become anemic. It becomes hard to concentrate so you get passed over for promotion at work. Anything that consumes your energy without being positively productive is detrimental to your health.

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    Many religious groups teach that the best way to combat hatred is through love and forgiveness.

    Psychologists from Coping.org encourage people who are experiencing feelings of hatred to identify the cause or causes of their feelings and to identify how hatred is negatively affecting their lives.

    The Web site encourages people to determine whether or not the hateful feelings were caused by real or imagined circumstances and to figure out whether their thought process was rational or not at the time they developed their feelings of hatred.

    Learning to forgive and forget is essential in order to overcome hatred. It is also important to acknowledge that feelings of hatred can have serious emotional and physical impacts on us.

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    Primarily, caring for yourself to minimize your susceptibility to recurring emotional trauma involves trying, to the best of your ability, to avoid exposure to further stress that is likely to cause an emotional reaction. Also, though you may be inclined to withdraw from social situations, do not isolate. Isolation can make things worse. Ask for support from a trusted friend or family member. Establish or maintain a daily routine - having a structure can help you stay grounded after a trauma. Finally, don't forget to look after your health. A healthy body goes a long way in helping you cope with stress.