Caregiver Corner: Coping With Cancer in the Family

Caregiver Corner: Coping With Cancer in the Family

A cancer diagnosis is not just a life-changing event for the patient. Here are tips to help the whole family cope with the diagnosis.

If cancer has caused you or someone else in your family to become a caregiver, you already know that caregiving is demanding, both physically and mentally. Caregivers often find themselves not just caring for the loved one who is diagnosed with cancer, but also providing emotional support to the other members of the family, who are all dealing with this situation in their own ways.

Here, we will discuss some challenges that caregivers may face when helping other members of the family cope with cancer, as well as tips on recognizing when you need help.

Talking to children and teens
Children and teens may have an especially tough time coping when a family member has cancer. Just like every other member of the family, they may feel confused, scared, guilty, angry and resentful about the new reality and the change in circumstances. And just like every other member of the family, these emotions are completely normal. The fact that they are still developing emotionally and cognitively, may be learning about cancer for the first time and lack the life experience of someone older can add to the challenge.

Discussing cancer with children and teens can be very hard on parents, who may want to protect their kids from the upsetting reality of the world. However, it's important to include them in conversations, to talk with them about the disease and to help them cope with their experience. Avoiding the conversation will not make things better for anyone. Always be honest.

It's helpful to recognize that families can have a lot of shared experience, and that everyone responds differently in difficult situations. Not everyone in the family will be equipped for caregiving, but there are many ways people can help. It can help to keep communications to the family formal, with agendas, lists, meetings and conference calls. This can prevent family members from being left out, give everyone a chance to ask questions and give everyone a full understanding of the situation and what it entails from both the patient and the caregivers.

Use all available resources
Whether you are a cancer patient or a caregiver, parent, child or sibling of someone with cancer, there are numerous resources and organization that can help you emotionally, financially and logistically. Most cancer centers have social workers and counselors who can help you navigate the emotional, psychological and social challenges. There are numerous online and local support groups where you can share your feelings and experiences with others who are going through a similar experience. There are also nonprofit and government agencies that provide financial support to families in need.

Don’t neglect your own needs
Caregivers undertake a lot of responsibility, and for many, the instinct is to try and shoulder that responsibility alone. But keep in mind that you won’t be much help to others if you are struggling with exhaustion, depression and burnout. Taking care of yourself needs to be a priority. Here are some tips that may help:

  • Ask for and accept help from those around you. Let them know when you are struggling and what you need.
  • Stay in touch with friends. Social activities can help you feel connected and may reduce stress.
  • Find time for exercise most days of the week.
  • Prioritize and establish a daily routine.
  • See your healthcare provider for regular checkups, and discuss any symptoms of depression or sickness you may be having.
  • Eat a balanced and nutritious diet, and avoid junk food.
  • Look to support groups for caregivers.
  • Prioritize sleep and rest.
  • Take it one day at a time.

Medically reviewed in February 2019.

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