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How should I cope with my partner's disorganization if he or she has ADHD?

The messy, unplanned lifestyle of your attention deficit disorder (ADD) partner can be overwhelming. One key to learning to cope with this lifestyle is to recognize that disorganization is not meant to make you mad. The messes and the unruly hours and erratic schedules can be directly translated into creativity. A creative person may be so lost in his or her imagination they don't even notice the messes!


When you feel tempted to scream "don't you see these huge messes?" you might remember that in fact your ADD partner may quite literally not be paying any attention to the messes they create. That's right, he or she may be so lost in thoughts, imagination or generating new ideas that the real world is like the paler reflection of their real world -- their imagination.

There are many specific strategies to use to actually begin to solve the problem of the messes, but a big step toward harmony in your relationship is the simple realization that they are not doing it on purpose and many times they are not paying attention the messes that annoy you so much. Indeed, they probably don't even notice the messes that vex your day to day existence.

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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.