How can having a baby strengthen my sexual relationship with my partner?

Generally, the exact opposite is true. Having a new baby in your life is exhausting to both partners. This is not conducive to sex. Because infants are totally dependent on their parents for quite a length of time, interference with the pre-baby sexual schedule persists.

However, your relationship (aside from sex), after being tested thoroughly by night feedings, fussy spells and messy diaper changes will be stronger as you both fall in love with this beautiful being you have created together. You will realize that you have shared the most exquisite intimacy. That will deepen your relationship.

Hilda Y. Hutcherson, MD
OBGYN (Obstetrics & Gynecology)

Maintaining a healthy sex life as new parents is easier said than done! Remember, it took nine months to make a baby. It’s going to take more than one night to re-make your sex life. Take things slowly -- baby steps, if you will -- to help ease anxiety and fear of pain with intercourse. And don’t be afraid to think outside the box: You may need to be bolder sexually, to go where you haven’t gone before. Reclaiming your sex life is a process, but it will happen naturally once you get things started.


You’ll be able to recon­nect with each other and re-establish that intimate bond you share as a couple. As Louann Brizendine, MD, writes in The Female Brain, “Without frequent touch, the brain’s dopamine and oxytocin circuits and receptors can feel starved. Couples may not real­ize how much they depend on each other’s physical presence until they are separated for a while....In both males and females, oxytocin causes relaxation, fearless­ness, bonding, and contentment with each other. And to maintain its effect long-term, the brain’s attach­ment system needs repeated, almost daily activation through oxytocin stimulated by closeness and touch.... Activities such as caressing, kissing, gazing, hugging, and orgasm can replenish the chemical bond of love and trust.”


Perhaps you’ll even feel more connected during sex. After all, you’ve shared an incredibly emotional experi­ence. Strengthen this bond now, so you’ve got a solid foundation for sex during parenthood.



The Good in Bed Guide to Sex and the Baby Years

More About this Book

The Good in Bed Guide to Sex and the Baby Years

Available at a substantial discount for a limited time only, thanks to support from K-Y(R) Brand!Once you get down to the business of baby-making, the advice will pour in: books, magazines, in-laws,...
J.Lucy Boyd
Having a baby will not necessarily strengthen your sexual relationship with your partner. In fact, it may damage an already shaky relationship. It isn't wise to have a baby in order to improve your relationship; rather, a child should ideally only be brought into a healthy, well-functioning home. Some adults become more committed to a relationship once a child arrives, but perhaps an equal number lose some degree of interest due to the stress of the child's almost-constant needs.

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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.