What are the tricks to a happy marriage?

The definition of healthy marriage varies slightly from couple to couple. However, there are some general signs of quality relationships among happily married couples, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). Try these tricks for a happy marriage.
  • Give each other emotional support. This doesn't mean just comforting your spouse in times of distress. Providing ongoing reassurance and encouragement is key. The ability to make your partner laugh is a sign of a healthy marriage.
  • Set boundaries. Boundaries in a strong marriage should be both internal and external. Respect your spouse’s independence. It also means the couple forms a separate identity from your extended family.
  • Face challenges head-on together. Stay united in the face of difficulties -- but be free to express your emotions in front of your spouse. This can help keep your marriage strong during difficult times.
  • Know when to get help. Sometimes, it’s best to talk to a counselor when life’s challenges get in the way of a quality relationship. Knowing when to seek help can prevent any issues from getting out of hand. Counseling can teach you healthy coping, listening and communication skills.
  • Keep communication open. Communication is one of the most important aspects of a healthy marriage. It means checking in with your spouse regularly about everything from, “How was your crazy co-worker today?” to deeper relationship or family issues you might be struggling with.
  • Spend quality time together. Just because the honeymoon is over doesn’t mean the fun is, too. Keep your relationship with your spouse strong by setting aside time for each other, such as date nights.
If you feel like you and your partner are in a relationship rut, change it up. Try a vacation or a new outing. Breaking out of your usual pattern can add excitement and bring you closer together. Ultimately your health – and your heart -- can benefit from the strong bond you two have.

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Arlene Feuerberg-Isaacs
It is important that you work on a relationship with the same dedication and effort you would have for your job.  Most people believe that a marriage should just happen but if you do not put the time and energy into developing a good relationship you will get fired!
What are the steps you use to do a good job?  It is important to plan your day, week, year.  It is important to have goals.  It is important to communicate you needs.  The same steps will help you create a good marriage.  Take some time every day to let your partner know how you feel about the good things they do for you.

Although each marriage is unique, a successful relationship tends to build upon this foundation:

  • Keep romance alive: Don't take each other for granted. Take time with your appearance and treat each other with thoughtfulness, even by doing something simple like picking up the kids from school. Leave love notes. Buy flowers. Show your partner you think he or she is worth the effort.
  • Make time for fun: Just like when you were dating, take time to plan fun things to do. Try a new restaurant. Take tennis or dancing lessons. Go on a picnic. Visit a museum.
  • Communicate clearly and fairly: Avoid using the words "always" and "never" when telling your spouse what irks you. Give specifics instead, such as leaving wet towels on the bathroom floor. Be constructive, not whiny or defensive.

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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.