Is it necessary to give 100 percent in relationships?

Lisa Oz
Health Education

In the introduction, I had said that to learn life's lessons, I needed to "show up, be willing to do the work, and be honest with myself and others." Well, today you are going to start with the first part. You are going to make the effort to show up wherever you are. Try to focus on whatever you are experiencing at any given moment, whether it is talking on the phone, or mopping the floor. Refuse to multitask. If you are with someone, be present for that person. If you are alone, be fully aware of yourself. Do not be distracted by the past or future. Commit to being present in the present.

Lisa Marie Rosati
Herbal Medicine

Is it necessary to give 100 percent in relationships?

If giving means attention, is it necessary? No.

It is, however a really good, life and relationship enhancing idea!

Being present to whatever you are doing in the moment is vital to doing it well.

When I was studying to be a Yoga Instructor, this topic came up with one of my Yogi's.

Mindfulness is a practice of Yoga.

Mindfulness: to give each task you are doing 100 percent of your attention and to be fully present during that task.

He continued with an example of how many of us have talked on the phone and folded laundry at the same time? He explained that this was not productive.

The reason being that it short changes the person you're on the phone with and your laundry. Neither task receives your full attention... therefore neither task gets done to the best of your ability! 

He went on to suggest that we, as Yoga students may want to begin practicing doing one thing at a time and observe if the practice of Mindfulness improves our life experience and relationships. Indeed it did!

Being mindful (giving 100%) into your relationships will enhance the connection you have with another person too.

A common place most slip up is with our children and partner. I cannot count the times that I was typing on the computer while talking on the phone at the same time, then simultaneously my youngest comes in to the room and asks me a question... my brain attempts to give each task thrown at me some thought...Craziness!

Each person and my computer received a frazzled little piece of me.

This is just one example of what can happen when you are not being mindful and present.

On the flip side, giving 100 percent in a relationship can also mean that you give all of yourself to someone else and put yourself last on the list.

This type of "giving" is unhealthy.

You must "give" to yourself first and then you'll have the fulfillment you need to give to others. Only a FULL pitcher can pour water. You must fill yourself up with self-love, pursuit of passions and self-care (put yourself on the calendar!)

Remember, you are in a relationship with yourself too!

The best option would be to:

  • take care of yourself and your needs.
  • Keep your identity “alive and kicking “in all your relationships.
  • Be AUTHENTIC to who you are.
  • Live your Truth. Don’t give up the things you love to do.
  • And when you are “in relationship", give 100 percent of yourself and your attention to it.


Continue Learning about Feelings & Emotions in Relationships

Could a Toxic Friendship Actually Shorten Your Life?
Could a Toxic Friendship Actually Shorten Your Life?
Good friends boost your confidence, listen when you need to vent and act as human shields when life throws you curveballs. The stress buffer that frie...
Read More
What is the honeymoon phase of a relationship?
Dr. Emily NagoskiDr. Emily Nagoski
The honeymoon phase is made of attachment—the wildly powerful biological experience we tend to call ...
More Answers
Who do we ask for directions regarding seeking love and approval?
Jacob TeitelbaumJacob Teitelbaum
We asked for directions when seeking for love, approval, and God.  We were children - new here.  Wha...
More Answers
How Long Have Social Networks Impacted Our Health?
How Long Have Social Networks Impacted Our Health?

Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.