How can I fight fair?

Fighting is a healthy part of a relationship, but it doesn't have to be hurtful. Be specific about what's bothering you, and stay current; don't rehash the past. Use statements with "I" to express how actions or words made you feel instead of saying "you always" or "you never." Don't make hurtful statements. Most important, think of how vital the issue is to you. Do you want to be right, or are you OK with a compromise or agreeing to disagree? Apologize and move on.

Kathy Sowder
Fair fighting includes staying focused on a solution, making proposals and compromises, and being open about one`s own feelings and wants. It does not include "hitting below the belt", talking louder than the other, interrupting, or trying to control the other. A fair fight usually is more likely to occur when both partners are not distracted or busy, when both are ready to talk and listen, and both can express "I statements" (e.g."I feel...", "I think....", "I would appreciate...") without blaming. If tempers begin to escalate, it is best to take a timeout for an agreed-on amount of time, such as fifteen minutes or even the next day. It helps to listen to your partner`s point of view, and to put it in words so your partner feels heard.

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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.