Advertisement

How can I become fearless in my relationships?

Arianna Huffington
Health Education

You can’t be in a fearless, fulfilling relationship and be looking over your shoulder for approval at the same time. You’ve got to choose. If what’s most important to you is being regularly patted on the back for good behavior or avoiding punishment for bad behavior, you’ll never be able to reveal your true self in an intimate relationship Indeed, you won’t even know what true self there is to reveal. 

To truly love another, to truly overcome our fears, there is no alternative but learning to accept ourselves with all our shortcomings. As long as the expectation continues that relationships will fill our emptiness and insulate us from anxiety and loneliness, we will keep trying to find in them the feelings of safety and contentment we had or longed for in childhood, and we will keep finding disappointment instead. To be truly fearless in relationships, we have to turn off the voices of both our inner critics and society. 

On Becoming Fearless...in Love, Work, and Life

More About this Book

On Becoming Fearless...in Love, Work, and Life

Observing that her own teenage daughters were beginning to experience some of the same fears that had once burdened her--how attractive am I? do people like me? do I dare speak up?--Arianna...

Continue Learning about Feelings & Emotions in Relationships

Are You Hungry for Relationships?
Are You Hungry for Relationships?
When Bruce Springsteen croons “everybody’s got a hungry heart,” you can feel how desperate a person can be for love. So it’s not surprising that psych...
Read More
How can I experience flow with my partner?
Ronald SiegelRonald Siegel
Flow experiences to do with your partner include:DancePractice meditationPlay music or singPlay tenn...
More Answers
Can gratitude improve my relationship with my partner?
Dr. Stan Tatkin, MFT, PsyDDr. Stan Tatkin, MFT, PsyD
Gratitude is the opposite of misery. That is why miserable people are never grateful. Their glass is...
More Answers
The First Thing Every Couple Should Do
The First Thing Every Couple Should Do

Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.