Can gratitude improve my relationship with my partner?

Dr. Stan Tatkin, MFT, PsyD
Marriage & Family Therapy
Gratitude is the opposite of misery. That is why miserable people are never grateful. Their glass is always empty. Finding gratitude is inextricably related to reality as we are always getting more than we are giving if we really do an honest daily inventory. The human being is a selfish animal. We are always aware of what we are NOT getting and so we feel angry, resentful, envious, and deprived. If each partner was to do an honest inventory of what they have received from their partner, what they’ve given to their partner, and the trouble they’ve caused their partner, a feeling of gratitude would likely emerge.*

* This is taken from Naikan, a Japanese meditation to engender feelings of gratitude.
Wired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate

More About this Book

Wired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate

In the age of online dating, finding a real connection can seem more daunting than ever! So, why not stack the odds of finding the right person in your favor? This book offers simple, proven-effective principles drawn from neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find the perfect mate.Everybody wants someone to love and spend time with, and searching for your ideal partner is a natural and healthy human tendency. Just about everyone dates at some point in their lives, yet few really understand what they're doing or how to get the best results. In Wired for Dating, psychologist and relationship expert Stan Tatkin—author of Wired for Love—offers powerful tips based in neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find a compatible mate and go on to create a fabulous relationship.Using real-life scenarios, you’ll learn key concepts about how people become attracted to potential partners, move toward or away from commitment, and the important role the brain and nervous system play in this process. Each chapter explores the scientific concepts of attachment theory, arousal regulation, and neuroscience. And with a little practice, you’ll learn to apply these exercises and practical techniques to your dating life.If you’re ready to get serious (or not!) about dating, meet your match, and have more fun, this book will be your guide.
Ronald Siegel
Gratitude can improve relationship satisfaction. Researchers at Harvard and other universities found a unique way to boost gratitude among people in long-term relationships. One group of participants spent 20 minutes writing about how they met their partner, dated, and ended up together. The others wrote about how they might never have met their partner, never have started dating, and not have ended up together. Those who contemplated not being with their partners showed the biggest gains in relationship satisfaction, the researchers reported in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

Relationships are a perfect place to introduce more expressions of gratitude, appreciation, and kindness. You and your partner can support each other in your quest for a happy, meaningful life.

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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.