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How can I express my true feelings without feeling badly?

Karen R Koenig
Psychology

To express your true feelings without guilt and shame, you should not:

  • Automatically say yes because you think it’s expected or you’ll feel guilty saying no.
  • Be afraid of speaking your mind appropriately.
  • Let guilt or fear of experiencing it dictate what you choose to do or not do.
  • Lie to yourself or you’ll end up not knowing what you really feel.
  • Think that people can’t tolerate or get over hurt feelings, because they can.
  • Avoid conflict because it makes you or someone else uncomfortable.
  • Allow others to mistreat you without speaking up about how it feels.
  • Silently tolerate ongoing physical, sexual, or verbal abuse - ever.
  • Stew in silence, deny your feelings, or let them build until you’re ready to explode.
  • Act passive-aggressively (let negative feelings out in a vague, indirect way that you don’t have to be accountable for) because it’s easier than being direct.
  • Let people decide for you what’s okay and not okay for you to say.
  • Assume that people know how you feel if you don’t tell them.
  • Allow yourself to become a scapegoat or whipping girl without protesting immediately.
  • Assume that other people can’t handle your authentic feelings.

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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.