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How am I rewarded for being depressed?

There are secondary gains that come with being depressed. In other words, you are rewarded for being depressed in some way. These rewards, or gains, may be fairly obvious. It may be that other people solve your problems for you because they want to protect you from too much stress, or that family members protect you from conflict because they don't want to make your depression worse. Depression may even be giving you an excuse to not go to work.

In other cases the secondary gains may be more subtle. Some clients have discovered that by being depressed they get to show their abusive parents how miserably they failed in their parenting. The best way to prepare for this obstacle is to examine your life for any benefits you may be gaining from being depressed. If you find that you do receive rewards, even small ones, for staying depressed, you should ask yourself whether those rewards are worth the price of staying depressed.
Listening to Depression: How Understanding Your Pain Can Heal Your Life

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Listening to Depression: How Understanding Your Pain Can Heal Your Life

A New Way of Thinking About DepressionWhat does it really mean to be depressed? You know depression as a collection of symptoms—fatigue, listlessness, feelings of worthlessness—and the source of...

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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.