Why should I tell my child he is adopted?

Michele Borba
Keeping the adoption "secret" -- or trying to "hide it" from a child -- only connotes to a child that there was something to be ashamed of when he does find out.

The central fear of adopted children is that they will be "given up" again.

Your child needs assurance -- both now and forever -- that your relationship is permanent.
Brooke Randolph
Marriage & Family Therapy

It is extremely likely that eventually your child will find out the truth. If you have kept this secret from him, it could be very damaging to your relationship with him, damaging his ability to trust you. Those who find out the truth for the first time during or after the adolescent stage of identity development struggle more with integrating all the details into a cohesive personal identity than those who have been given all the information possible prior to adolescence. 

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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.