Advertisement

How can I help my child feel comfortable about being adopted?

Michele Borba
Psychology
Peter L. Benson, lead researcher of one of the largest studies on adoptees says that, “Quiet, open communication about adoption seems to be the key” to helping kids thrive and take their adoption in stride.

Your child needs to know he can come to you in ease and comfort with any question and at any time. Your child always needs to hear information about his past from you in a context of love and commitment.

Reassure your child that his feelings -- whatever they may be -- and quest for information about his past are normal. Stress that you will do whatever you can to fill in those details. And thank him for asking!

That kind of calm, reassuring helpfulness -- letting the child know you’re there anytime and there’s nothing he should ever feel uncomfortable about asking -- helps keep him coming to you for those crucial talks and clarifications.

Sometimes the right book can help open the dialogue. Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born by Jamie Lee Curtis or Over the Moon by Karen Katz are wonderful, but there are dozens more. Find one that matches your views, your situation and your child.
The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries

More About this Book

The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries

Today show's Michele Borba's cures for difficult childhood behaviors In this down-to-earth guide, parenting expert Michele Borba offers advice for dealing with children's difficult behavior and hot...

Continue Learning about Adoption

How should I tell my child that he is adopted?
Michele BorbaMichele Borba
Here are some tips on how to tell you child he is adopted:Begin those adoption talks early Begin u...
More Answers
Can psychiatric services help an adopted child adjust to a new home?
Victoria L. Dunckley, MDVictoria L. Dunckley, MD
The short answer is, yes of course. The reality is, many adopted children do not get referred to men...
More Answers
Why should I tell my child he is adopted?
Brooke RandolphBrooke Randolph
It is extremely likely that eventually your child will find out the truth. If you have kept this sec...
More Answers
How can I prepare my child who is adopted to respond to rude questions?
Michele BorbaMichele Borba
Let's face it, kids (and adults!) can be cruel and seem to be getting crueler these days. So one...
More Answers

Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.