How can women overcome the fear of being ambitious?

One way to overcome the fears of being ambitious and assertive is by learning how to play the men’s office “game” but tailoring it to our own style. Taking credit for our work and accomplishments and fearlessly negotiating for compensation can be interpreted as ambitious and aggressive. But as Gail Evans observes in her book Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman, says, “You are who you say you are.” If you act timid and unimportant, that’s how you’ll be perceived. 

We have to let go of the idea that we must be sweet all the time if we’re going to be “real women.”  This doesn’t mean we have to become obnoxious ogres. We can be assertive without sacrificing charm and humor. Humor especially can be very effective in taking the edge off being assertive. We can be a lot more challenging if we don’t take ourselves too seriously.  

Connecting with people on a personal level is also key. Even with those we interact with only at work, it’s important to remember that their lives- their joys and their troubles- consist of much more than work. And the more at ease we are with ourselves and our own emotions the more able we’ll be to reach out to others in a personal way. It all comes down to what the French call “être bien dans sa peau”: to feel good in your own skin