Why do problems arise among family members?

Problems arise between family members because they have values based on individual biases and these are inherently in conflict. In the outside world, we would probably deal with our differences by choosing not to associate with each other. This is not always an option in families. Part of the problem is that on some deep level, we believe that our family is an extension of ourselves, so their choices and behaviors reflect on us. If they do something that we do not approve of, our very identity is threatened. There is a primal pack mentality within a shared gene pool that says, "We are one. Your survival is my survival; your failure is mine too." When they disappoint or embarrass us, we sometimes push them away to prove that we are not the same. Nevertheless, mostly, we just try to control them.

Problems arise between family members when one individual becomes aware that his/her opinions about certain issues are not shared by others in the family.  This leads to controversy when each of the famly members attempts to change the opinion of others.

Therefore it is very important for all who seek peace in their family to understand and respect the right of others in the family to each have a different point of view.  In many instances family counseling is very helpful.