Why do I resist change?

There are lots of reasons we resist change, but it really boils down to two things - pleasure and pain. Those two experiences, in all their subtle permutations, are the primary motivators for every one of our actions. We make our choices because we want to feel good or because we want to avoid feeling bad. Of course, it makes sense that we would continue activities that we liked, but why would we repeat behaviors that made us unhappy? Because on some level, we associate even more pain with change or perceive a benefit from staying the same.

Pain, or at least discomfort, isn't all bad. It's an essential element of that inner system that lets us know we need to change. It tells us something's not what it should be - we are not what we should be. That interior sense can reveal itself in many ways: as depression or anger, boredom or anxiety. It's that feeling of emptiness that underlies the sleepwalking state of habitual living. And what do you do when you get that feeling? Well, you do anything to make it go away. It's uncomfortable as hell, and you don't like it. So, you distract yourself with phone calls, Internet browsing, and your personal favorites.

Addictive behavior is the way we numb ourselves to inner pain. It's the method we use to stay asleep; it's like a giant snooze button on the alarm clock of life, and we just keep hitting it over and over. At some point, we need to wake up to the reality that facing the pain we are running away from is our only path to true joy.