What are the Caregiver's Rights?

As caregivers we often place the needs of our loved ones first. However, it is important to remember we have rights as caregivers. The following is the caregiver's code, a reminder of our rights as caregivers, regardless of the diagnosis of your loved one.

 The Caregiver’s Code

• Have the patience or wisdom to start over again each day, with a clean slate.
• Batman had Robin, Superman had Lois Lane, Simba had Pumba and Timoné, Winnie the Pooh had an entire cast of supporters—do not forget to include others who will assist in caring for your loved one.
• Do not forget to inform others of all that you do to care for your loved one and encourage their participation.
• As resourceful as you may be, do not forget that you don’t know everything, and it is okay.
•  Just as successful organizations don’t try to be everything to everyone, you shouldn’t try to do everything for your loved one.
• Be sure not to take your role in life too seriously and, as a result, lack the capacity to change when what you are doing is not working. If a strategy does not work try something new.
• Do not forget the principle of not just doing a good job but being the best at what you do, although others will not always have your same standards.

Caring for someone you love after a heart or stroke event is a difficult task that very few people are prepared for. The responsibilities and the emotional stress can sometimes cause you to forget to take care of yourself. These Rights will help you remember that you have a right to health and happiness, even when you’re caring for someone else. They’ll help you realize that the emotions and pressures you may be feeling are normal.

I have the right:

• To take care of myself. This is not an act of selfishness. It will enable me to take better care of my loved one.
• To seek help from others even though my loved one may object. I recognize the limits of my own endurance and strength.
• To maintain facets of my own life that don’t include the person I care for, just as I would if he or she were healthy. I know that I do everything that I reasonably can for this person, and I have the right to do some things for myself.
• To get angry, be depressed, and express other difficult emotions occasionally.
• To reject any attempt (either conscious or unconscious) to manipulate me through guilt, anger, or depression.
• To receive consideration, affection, forgiveness, and acceptance from my loved one for as long as I offer these qualities in return.
• To take pride in what I am accomplishing and to applaud the courage it sometimes takes to meet the needs of my loved one.
• To protect my individuality and my right to make a life for myself that will sustain me when my loved one no longer needs my full-time help.
• To expect and demand that, as new strides are made in finding resources to aid physically and mentally impaired persons in our country, similar strides will be made toward aiding and supporting caregivers.

Put these Caregiver Rights where you and the person you care for can see them. Add other rights that are specific to you or highlight the ones you are most likely to sacrifice. Sharing this list of rights with the person you care for will help clear the air, give you the courage to stand up for yourself, and allow you to ask for these rights without feeling guilty.