If I am more vulnerable with a person, will I experience greater intimacy?

When we express our feelings, we make ourselves more vulnerable. When we make ourselves vulnerable, it becomes safer for the other person to do so as well. As we discussed, we can experience intimacy only to the degree that we are willing to risk being vulnerable. Hearts that are open feel connected to each other.

It can be frightening to make yourself vulnerable to another person - because you might get hurt. The commitment of a long term relationship can help both people feel safer and thus more willing to be vulnerable. Such vulnerability, however, is a double-edged sword: You know each other's soft spots when you are in a relationship with someone, so no one can hurt you as efficiently or as badly as your beloved, who knows your soft underbelly, just where to zing you.