Over the years you have built an idealized self-image that you
defend as "me." In this image are packed all the things you want to
see as true about yourself; banished from it are all the shameful,
guilty and fear-provoking aspects that threaten your
self-confidence. But the aspects you try to push away return as the
most insistent voices in your head. The act of banishment creates
the chaos of your internal dialogue; thus your ideal erodes even
while you are doing everything to look good and feel good about
yourself.
To really feel good about yourself, renounce your self-image.
Immediately you will find yourself being more open and relaxed.
Much time is spent in self-help trying to turn a bad self-image
into a good one. As reasonable as that sounds, all self-images have
the same pitfall: They keep reminding you of who you were, not who
you are. The whole idea of I, me and mine was erected on memories;
these memories are not really you. If you release yourself from
your self-image, you will be free to choose as if for the first
time.
Self-image keeps reality away, particularly at the emotional level.
Many people don't want to admit what they are actually feeling.
Their self-image dictates that being angry, for example, or showing
anxiety is not permissible. Such feelings don't accord with the
"kind of person I want to be." Certain emotions feel too dangerous
to be part of your ideal image of yourself, so you adopt a disguise
that excludes those feelings. Deep-seated rage and fear belong in
this category, but sadly so does immense joy, ecstasy, or
freewheeling spontaneity.
You stop being ruled by self-image when:
• You feel what you feel
• You are no longer offended by things
• You stop appraising how a situation makes you look
• You don't exclude people you feel superior or inferior to
• You quit worrying about what others think about you
• You no longer obsess over money, status, and possessions
• You no longer feel the urge to defend your opinions
Over the years you have built an idealized self-image that you
defend as "me." In this image are packed all the things you want to
see as true about yourself; banished from it are all the shameful,
guilty and fear-provoking aspects that threaten...
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Deepak Chopra answered:Over the years you have built an idealized self-image that you defend as "me." In this image are packed all the things you want to see as true about yourself; banished from it are all the shameful, guilty and fear-provoking aspects that threaten your self-confidence. But the aspects you try to push away return as the most insistent voices in your head. The act of banishment creates the chaos of your internal dialogue; thus your ideal erodes even while you are doing everything to look good and feel good about yourself.