How can I know if my parenting is spoiling my child?

Let’s face facts: there is no gene for a “spoiled kid.” Self-centeredness is a learned behavior so we have only ourselves to blame. Every so often push the pause button on your parenting and consider your everyday responses to your children. Ask one question: “Is my parenting style helping to prepare my child to be prepared to handle life and be a contributing member of society?” Every so often push the pause button on your parenting and consider your everyday responses to your children. Ask one question: “Is my parenting style helping to prepare my child to be prepared to handle life and be a contributing member of society?”

The age of the child is a most important consideration.  While it is quite possible to spoil an older child or an adolescent; it is virtually impossible to spoil an infant.   Human infants are completely helpless at birth and for a considerable time following.  As a parent you have the responsibility to help your very young child feel secure in every way as you provide love, comfort, safety, food and shelter. 

 

You can be spoiling your child with your parenting if you fail to help your child evolve gradually into age appropriate independence and self reliance.  For instance, your child should be doing his/her own homework, and should be learning to live within the parameters of an appropriate allowance that you provide. 

 

When your child is not accepting responsibility for his/her own actions and accomplishments, that is an indication that you might be spoiling the child.  Whatever goes wrong can not always be someone else's fault.