What if more than one person wants to be my healthcare proxy?
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Dr. Mehmet Oz answered:This is actually a big problem for some people, since not appointing a person to be your health care proxy is a bit like not inviting a friend or relative to your wedding; it's a tangible act that can be viewed as drawing a line in the sand between who really counts for what, no matter how logically or nicely or gently the decision is made.
There's no easy answer here, except to deputize the person you feel most comfortable with and to name number two the backup, and then tell everyone else and say you love them too much to put them through such grief and burden. Letting them fight it out to decide who can be your proxy? Nah. This is your choice, so don't leave your proxy vulnerable to being second-guessed by everyone who cares about you.
That's why the Constitution spells out a line of succession for president; otherwise the original document could have simply allowed us to pick whomever's especially smart and available at the moment.
Find out more about this book: YOU: The Smart Patient: An Insider's Handbook for Getting the Best Treatmen...
This is actually a big problem for some people, since not appointing a person to be your health care proxy is a bit like not inviting a friend or relative to your wedding; it's a tangible act that can be viewed as drawing a line in the sand between... More -
Betty Long, RN, MHA answered:Make your decision alphabetically. Break the tie with Rock, Paper, Scissors. Seriously, though, this is an all too common situation and often has the effect of delaying decisions and care/treatment. If you have not already appointed your healthcare proxy, now is not the time to worry about hurting someone’s feelings.
As a nurse advocate, I regularly watch families rally around newly diagnosed cancer patients. Everyone has a talent, something they're good at, known for, even teased about! Everyone can help in his or her own way and it's likely that they want to. Your sister, however, might be a lot better at organizing a family visiting hours’ schedule than making healthcare decisions.
Your healthcare proxy, if not knowledgeable about healthcare, should be able to gather data, evaluate information and make informed decisions based on the information at hand and your wishes. Ideally, your proxy should live geographically near you and/or be readily accessible.
The best situation is to appoint your healthcare proxy while you are well. If possible, have a conversation with everyone involved. Ask the person or persons not appointed proxy to do something else for you should you become incapacitated.
Make your decision alphabetically. Break the tie with Rock, Paper, Scissors. Seriously, though, this is an all too common situation and often has the effect of delaying decisions and care/treatment. If you have not already appointed... More
