How can I help prevent my child from becoming a bully?

While we may have temperamental tendencies that we are born with, I would have to say that bullies are made, not born that way. For example, some kids are born wanting to look strong, but it does not mean that they will end up to be bullies if they are taught to use their strength in "good and right" ways. That is where parenting and society come into play. We have the power to foster a more cooperative and productive use of power in boys and girls.

We have to help teach all of our children to learn to find their power within ourselves, not from other people. As we are teaching girls "girl power" teach them healthy ways to find it.

Step 1

Talk to your child about bullying behavior. Try to find out what is causing your child to act like a bully. The Safe Child Program warns to avoid using blame when talking to your child. Instead, focus on what feelings your child experiences when dealing with others. Jealousy, insecurity, peer pressure and a lack of knowing that bullying is wrong are some of the possible causes of bullying.

Step 2

Educate your child on how bullying affects the victim. Talk about what it feels like to be a victim of bullying.

Step 3

Role-play games to teach your child how to interact with others in various situations.

Step 4

Establish ground rules for your child to follow regarding behavior toward others. Let your child know that you will not accept bullying behavior and will enforce punishments if it continues. Avoid violent punishments such as spanking, which could exacerbate bullying behavior and stick to punishments like taking privileges away. 

Step 5

Praise your child for good behavior toward others.

Step 6

Set a good example for your child. The way you behave is a model to what is acceptable behavior to your child. If you use violence, yell at people or relentlessly tease people, your child will think it is okay to do the same. Treat others with respect and show compassion and patience when dealing with people in your life.

Step 7

Spend time with your child each day to strengthen the parent-child bond and encourage open communication. Play a game, read a book or watch a movie together--whatever activity the two of you enjoy.

Step 8

Supervise your child's activity with other children so that you can intervene when bullying behavior presents itself. Watch how your child's friends behave. Are they bullies as well? If your child is friend with bullies, talk with their parents to notify them of the problem and limit your child's interactions with those friends. Groups of bullies tend to feed off each other's behavior.

Step 9

Work together with your child's teachers and school counselors. These professionals spend a great deal of time with your child, putting them in the position to catch the bullying behavior as it happens.

Step 10

Consider taking your child to see a professional therapist if you are not able to solve the bullying problem.