How can my partner best help me with my fibromyalgia?

The first step is the most critical step: Ask your partner for help with your fibromyalgia. Don't assume that he or she knows you need assistance. In fact, partners and family members sometimes slip into "head in the sand" mode when a loved one is sick. It may seem easier to pretend that nothing is wrong and ignore reality than it is to deal with a partner's chronic illness. But that won't help either of you in the long run. Talk about your needs and how your partner can help you to manage fibromyalgia. Be willing to listen and understand when your partner expresses his or her needs, too. Having an open dialogue about your fibromyalgia won't always be easy, but it will make you stronger as a team.

Your partner can help by learning more about fibromyalgia. Dealing with inadequate pain control, medication trials, non-restorative sleep, symptoms and comorbid conditions, fatigue, health care providers, family, friends, coworkers, self-esteem, stress, and medical and legal red tape, can be exhausting for you and your partner too. Education is the best tool.

Your partner can be supportive by listening without trying to fix you. Understand that your partner’s innate response is to want to make you all better. He/she can offer the best support by accepting that fibromyalgia is a disorder of trial and error treatments, and that until the cause is found, there is no cure. Many times we just need to express ourselves without expecting an answer if this is the case, state it.

Though fibromyalgia is not considered progressive, we know that it is accompanied by many disorders that are painful and difficult to treat as well. This can make it seem as though something is always wrong. It is important that you and your mate understand, this is the nature of fibromyalgia.

If your relationship is suffering because you have fibromyalgia, professional help may be in order.

Helpful resources: (recheck these links)

“Avoiding Lockdown” https://thesethree.com/Avoiding_Lockdown.html or

“Building Relationships” https://thesethree.com/Building_Relationships.html

All blogs, posts and answers are based on the work in Integrative Therapies for Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and Myofascial Pain: The Mind-Body Connection by Celeste Cooper, RN, and Jeff Miller, PhD. 2010, Vermont: Healing Arts press and are not meant to replace medical advice. http://www.thesethree.com

Author of Chapter Five, Living with and Coping Effectively Through Fibromyalgia: Detecting Barriers, Understanding the Clues, in Fibromyalgia Insider Secrets: 10 Top Experts, 2nd Ed. Ebook complied by Deirdre Rawlings, ND, PhD
http://www.fibromyalgiainsidersecrets.com/whoarewe/Celest.html