How can I help my partner deal with the sexual effects of cancer treatment?

Your sex life will likely be impacted by your partner’s diagnosis. Here's how you can help as a partner:

1. Empathy. Understanding the emotional and physical effects of treatment will help you find solutions.

2. Communication is critical. Share your concerns and fears. Tell your partner that you find him or her desirable but are willing to wait until he or she is ready to resume sexual activity.

3. Be patient. Most of the effects of treatment for cancer lessen when treatment ends. At that time your partner will feel better physically and emotionally. Keep in mind that every patient recovers at his or her own pace and some patients continue to experience lack of desire. This is normal.

4. If you and your partner were experiencing problems in your sex life before the cancer diagnosis, this may be a good time to seek professional help. Talk to the doctor or the hospital social worker for a referral.

5. If your partner is a gynecologic-oncology patient and experienced orgasm before her diagnosis, she will in all likelihood experience orgasm again. Some women report their orgasms feel somewhat different but they do occur. The use of vaginal lubricants and moisturizers can help remedy vaginal dryness. Regular vaginal intercourse, if and when your partner is ready, helps stretch the vagina following radiation. If you are not ready for vaginal intercourse, vaginal dilators have the same effect. In general, you will not feel a difference during intercourse if your partner had a hysterectomy.