How can I communicate better with my spouse?

Be constructive, not whiny or defensive. Share what's on your mind by using specifics, not generalizations. Avoid words like "always" and "never." Approach discussions with a sense of compromise.

Listening is a great way to build respectful relationships. In listen first communication you are trying to convey a spirit honoring individual perspectives, a genuine interest in people and a desire to form partnerships. In opposition of the spirit is a sense of trying to convince someone to do something. 

Listen first or motivational interviewing utilizes the following skills: 

•Ask open questions.  Invites people to talk and share their perspective. 
•Reflect what we hear from people.  Communicates understanding. 
•Summarize what we hear.  Pull together the major points of a conversation. 
•Use Affirmations.  We want to affirm what we see as positive with people.  Communicates encouragement and support.  

These simple listen first skills support people feeling supported, understood and respected.