How can I help my child feel safe after a tragedy in the news?

To help your child feel emotionally safe after a tragedy:

• Anticipate Concerns: Kids zero in on those violent terms faster than we do and depending on their age may misinterpret those events. Tune into what your child says for clues. Anticipate what your child may concern your child. Then start a dialogue addressing those concerns.

A child's biggest worry after a tragedy is: "Such an event could happen here and it could happen to me and to the people I love and care about. Will I be safe?"

• Offer Perspective: "That event happened a long way from here." "The police put that bad man in jail so everyone is safe." "All the doctors, firemen and police ran to help." "Everything is safe now."

• Don't Dwell: Just use a calm, reassuring, matter of fact statement that conveys safety. Answer questions directly, honestly, but at your child's level of understanding. Children also process information differently than adults. They may only tune into parts of what you say as they try to make sense of this information. They may also ask repeated questions. Take your child's lead.

Tragedy touches all of us, and heightens the worry and anxiety for both children and adults. Although creating safety will be a challenge, there are a couple of things parents can do.

1. Monitor media usage: It's hard to pull yourself away from the television or radio, and that's exactly what you need to do. Protect your children from being on information overload. They might be confused, concerned or it will increase their anxiety.
2. Be open to discussion: There will be many questions, and you will not have all the answers. And your own emotions might get in the way. Do not shut down or avoid the discussion, and do your best to be honest and open.
3. Work toward normalcy: Be prepared for things to be rough, and work toward getting things back to some sort of normalcy. Children thrive on that, and you have to work towards it.
4. Offer reassurance: Remind the children in your life that, although bad things happen, there are more good people, and that he/she will be protected and safe, to the best of your ability.

 

A tragedy scares everyone, so you can only imagine the impact that it has on a child who doesn't entirely grasp the full extent of what happened. Following a tragedy in the news it is imperative that you are there for your child. To help your child cope you need to make sure that you yourself are in check. Showing that you have feelings is good, but your child looks to you for support. In their eyes, mom and dad can handle anything, so when talking with them you need to be brave and reassuring.

Make sure to listen to their feelings. I know that you want to explain everything to your child, but let them tell you about the tragedy from their eyes. If they leave out details, do not feel obligated to fill them in. It is more than okay if your child does not know every little detail of what happened. Then, when they are done, you can answer questions they have in very basic terms. Do not go into unnecessary details and stay calm. They are looking to you for stability.

Be aware that your children are always listening. Try not to leave the news on too much and be absolutely positive that your children are out of earshot when talking with other adults about the tragedy. This is not how you want your children to get information on the tragedy; you want them to get it from you.

Try not to let the tragedy take over your life. Do family things, stay busy, have fun, anything that takes your child's mind off the tragedy is a positive. It will show your child that life will go on; your family will be okay.

Finally, see what the community needs and what you and your family can do to help. Aiding with the healing process will also help your children to heal. It will also comfort them to know that if your family is ever in a similar tragedy, people will help you too.