How can I help my child develop new skills?

First, talk it out (before the storm). One of the most effective ways you can help build skills is by simply engaging your child in a discussion about what works and what doesn’t in different situations. The key here is to initiate that discussion while your child is calm, before the tantrum or storm erupts. Parents often wish to talk with their children about conflicts or challenges during the conflict. That is about the worst time to talk with your child about his behavior. Kids can’t problem solve well when they are totally wound up, and parents get too frustrated. Always introduce new ideas when your child is calm and rested.

Then, create alternatives. When it is time for your child to exhibit a new skill set, provide her with alternative strategies or activities she can put into place in order to transition with comfort and ease.