How can I get my child to stop having temper tantrums?

What is really important is that you develop routines for your family that work for you. Every family is different, and every toddler is different. Know your child. See how he responds in different situations. When is he feeling good? When does he behave well? When do you feel good, as a parent? These things are not random occurrences. These are patterns to your child’s behavior and feelings; these are patterns to your behavior and feelings, and patterns to the rhythm of your family. What are those patterns? Become a detective. Observe. Take notes. Remember. Put it all together. Here are some questions to keep in mind:

• When does my toddler behave well? What times of day? What situations? With whom

• What kinds of things seem to make my toddler angry or have a meltdown? What changed in the situation just prior to the meltdown?

• What helps my toddler feel better when he is having a tantrum? What has worked in the past? Who is able to help him feel better?

• What was I doing just prior to my toddler’s meltdown? How was I feeling? Was I stressed, distracted, not “present”?

Start paying attention to these things. Once you do, you will start to suspect certain patterns. You might not be sure if your hunches are correct. That’s okay; like any scientist, you will test your hypotheses. How? By being aware, in the moment, with your toddler; then when you see the pattern start to emerge again, do something to make it different.

If there’s is a certain time of day that makes his fussy and difficult, try to decrease the noise and stimulation at that time. If there are certain places you go that make him crazy, don’t take him there! Change it up, and see what happens. Then, you start to have answers. Your detective work will lead to a much happier toddler.