How can I help my child be less anxious about new situations?

It’s normal for a child to be nervous in a new situation. Your role is to help him work through his anxiety so that he can feel skillful. When you practice the words and even role-play in the backyard, in bed or in the car, you are fueling him with words and actions to handle the situation. If a child has the words and actions to cope with an anxiety-provoking experience, he will have the skills to cope with the situation much better.

If you practice the beginning, middle and end of a sporting experience with your son, talking about what’s going to happen and what kinds of thoughts and feelings he’s going to have, then he can apply that in lots of different places. He can apply it when the teacher asks him to read in front of the class and he feels like he doesn’t read well. So, instead of having a fit, a meltdown or a depressive experience, your child can know he has some words and behavioral choices that he can apply across situations. Even if he does become upset by the experience as it happens, he will be much better situated to understand those feelings and process them effectively.