As caregiver for an elderly relative, how can I stay positive?

First, accept the situation for what it is. Try not to focus on the way things used to be; try to accept the current situation and think of ways to make the best of it. For instance, while a medical condition may not improve, environments can be manipulated to make life more manageable and enjoyable for the elder and for you. Your situation may be as simple as not being able to leave your loved one alone for any period of time or may be as complex as buying hospital beds, oxygen equipment, wheelchairs, commodes, grab bars, and other medical equipment, scheduling occupational therapy, physical therapy, and home health visits. Remember that this too shall pass and concentrate on making the present as best as you can.

Second, be proactive in your loved one’s care. Learn about your loved one's condition. Attend physician, legal, and clinic appointments when possible; enroll in classes (either on-line or in the community). Yes, this requires more of your time initially, but ultimately, it will take up less of your time because you will understand when an occurrence needs immediate attention, when it can wait, or when it is just part of the disease process.

Finally, give yourself a Doo-Dah Day. I bet you’re wondering what it is. Well, I first started celebrating Doo-Dah Day after our pastor at church threw a Doo Dah Celebration one Sunday. I’m probably butchering his whole theory behind it, but what I gleaned from the idea was that it was a personal day of celebration and gratitude for the joys that life brings. Yes, there are other days that we celebrate thankfulness as a culture, but sometimes the idea gets lost during the hype or just the busyness of those days. Caregivers absolutely need at least one Doo-Dah Day a year to celebrate themselves, their accomplishments, the fact that they have positively impacted another life, and the fact that they have survived another year.