- Go novel. Desire increases with new situations, new stimuli, new anything. So maybe it means taking a bath before sex or using the recliner for other things than watching TV. Or maybe it means the two of you take lipstick and write sexy messages on each other as a method of foreplay. Doesn't matter what you do, as long as you break up routine and drive up desire.
- Add lube. We all know that there's nothing pleasurable about sex if the glide and ride feels about as smooth as a ride in a car without shock absorbers. For the smoothest results, you want oil or silicone lubricants. The only problem is that they degrade latex, so use water-based lubes if you're using condoms.
- Be honest. First, with yourself. Ask yourself about your anxiety and feelings about the relationship. Then, talk with your partner. Though it's not an easy conversation, men should know what they can do to help increase your pleasure and mood—be it with more foreplay, more romance, or more everyday conversation.
Find out more about this book:You: Staying Young: The Owner's Manual for Extending Your Warranty