What are the two parts of the sexual response system?

The dual control of sexual response breaks the sexual response system into two parts:

Sexual Excitation System (SES). SES is the system that responds to sexually relevant stimuli in the environment, from visual stimuli to tactile stimuli and everything in between.

Sexual Inhibition System (SIS). SIS is the brakes system. Research so far shows that it’s likely there are two different SIS systems, one that responds to fear of performance failure (erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, etc.) and another that responds to fear of performance consequences (STI transmission, unwanted pregnancy, social consequences).

Both men and women have both of these systems. Sexual arousal is a process of “disinhibition” -- it’s not so much “getting turned on” as it is “turning off the offs.” So you can think about arousal as two equally important processes: providing gradually increasing stimulation for the SES, and getting rid of everything the SIS might respond to, which includes both physical and emotional risks. It’s like putting your foot on the gas and taking it off the brakes.

On average, women tend to have more SIS (more sensitive brakes) and less SES (less sensitive gas) than men, though there is lots of variability. This means that, in general, women require more stimulation to become aroused, and that women are more sensitive to all kinds of threats -- including physical, emotional, and social.

If you’re a woman who has trouble having an orgasm or always takes an hour to have an orgasm, you might be a woman with relatively low levels of SES and high levels of SIS. For you, it takes a lot of stimulation to activate SES sufficiently to generate a really high level of sexual tension, and it only takes a little bit of anxiety or stress for your body to hit the brakes. If G-spot stimulation is pleasurable for you, it might be a good way to explore your orgasmic potential, because it vastly increases the intensity of stimulation.