How can I enjoy sex if I have a tracheostomy, stoma, or colostomy?

The following are some tips for enjoying sex despite a tracheostomy, stoma or colostomy:

• Be Prepared: Stay on top of any maintenance required for your trach or stoma, so as to avoid complications. And empty that colostomy bag before having sex. Do all you can to avoid the accidents you worry about the most.

• Try Different Positions: Sometimes, the surgery required to create a stoma can leave a woman's vagina temporarily sore. If this is the case, experiment with different positions. Have sex while lying on your side, or get on top, so that you have total control of the thrusting. Another position that often helps if you're experiencing painful intercourse is a variation of the missionary position, in which the male puts his legs on the outside of the female's legs, which she then closes. Not only does this ease the pain, but it also ups the chance that he'll stimulate your clitoris during intercourse.

Man or woman, if you're worried about damaging the stoma or colostomy, stick to positions that keep weight off the stoma, or cushion it with a pillow.

• Redefine Sex: Traditional intercourse is not the only option you have when it comes to intimacy. Which is especially good news if you've been experiencing temporary impotence. Make love with your hands, your mouth, or your tongue (or all three!). Consider it a personal challenge to find all the ways in which you can bring each other to orgasm… without having intercourse. And achieving orgasm isn't the be-all, end-all either. Bring each other to extreme heights of pleasure, all without ever coming. Playing around with this can extend and intensify your lovemaking.

You have to consider this as an opportunity… one that not many people have. It's an opportunity to take your relationship to the next level. It's going to be hard work, but anything worth having is worth working for.

• Maintain a Sense of Humor: No matter how much you prepare, mistakes can still happen. Above all, you should maintain a sense of humor when it comes to sex. Even without the complications that come from cancer treatment, sex can be messy, awkward, or accidentally painful. If you have the ability to laugh it all off, you'll find yourself enjoying sex way more.