"Yes, there is," I say.
Their eyes get a little wider, their hearts jump a bit.
They're not always thrilled when I tell them they need to change their brain structure. And sometimes even less thrilled when I tell them one of the best ways to change their brain for better sex, is mindfulness meditation.
A key factor in having better sex is actually being there when you're having it. Being there not just physically -- being fully present, in thought, word and deed. (Not exactly what the Boy Scouts had in mind with that catchphrase.) It isn't about adding props or toys or costumes -- it's about really showing up and tuning in, to the moment, yourself and your partner.
To do this it's essential to have a better flow of information between what your body is sensing, on up to the lower parts of the brain where those sensations are sorted out a bit, and then further up into the higher parts of your brain, where it registers in your awareness, and understood as an emotion. If you could improve that flow of information, you could be:
- less defensive, and better able to hear and respond to what's actually going on in the moment instead of reacting out of old habits
- more receptive to genuine connection (emotional and physical), and better able to foster it
- more physically present, which makes for a better physical connection, leading to a better sexual connection
- more emotionally present, which makes for a better emotional connection, leading (again) to a better sexual connection.