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question

How can I avoid discomfort during sex if my partner has a big penis?

Madeleine M. Castellanos, MD
Madeleine M. Castellanos, MD on behalf of Good In Bed
Psychiatry
answer
A partner with a big penis can be challenging, but there's much you can do to make the experience more pleasurable:
  • Wait 'til you're ready. As you become aroused, your vagina expands and produces natural lubrication in anticipation of intercourse. That said, many women may have sex before they're fully physically aroused -- something that may work very well with smaller or average-sized penises, but which can cause discomfort when your man has a larger member. Just as plenty of foreplay can help women whose partners have smaller penises, it can benefit you, too. Kissing, touching, and oral or manual stimulation can boost your arousal so when it's time for intercourse, you'll be ready.
  • Get wet. Lubricant can go a long way to easing intercourse with a bigger guy. In fact, it's a must. There's a wide variety of lubes out there, from thin and slippery to thicker and more viscous. To prevent breakage, remember to use a lube that's compatible with the type of condom you're using. So start experimenting!
  • Choose the right positions. You'll want to try out different sexual positions to see which work best for you and your partner. In general, though, you may want to avoid positions that involve deep penetration (such as rear entry, or "doggy style") and choose those that allow you to better control the angle and amount of thrusting and penetration, like "woman on top". This position also gives the woman control of the rate of penetration. Since you control how fast or slow he penetrates you, you can relax and take some extra time and deep breaths as needed.
  • Find the right fit. A guy with a large penis isn't necessarily exaggerating if he complains that regular condoms are too small for him. These days, you can find condoms in a slew of sizes that shouldn't break or feel too tight. Shop around until you find what works best.
  • Relax. When you have a steady partner, your vagina will accommodate to him. This means that the muscles and skin will stretch to fit your guy's larger penis so that with regular sexual intercourse, it becomes more comfortable. Keep in mind that relaxation is the key.

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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.