What is manipulation and how do I recognize it?

A Answers (1)

  • ADeepak Chopra, Alternative & Complementary Medicine, answered
    Manipulation is getting what you want by ignoring or harming thedesires of others. Manipulators use charm, persuasion, coaxing,trickery, and misdirection. The underlying idea is "I have to foolpeople to make them give me what I want." When they are reallycaught up in their ploys, manipulators even imagine that they aredoing their victims a favor - after all, who wouldn't feel goodhelping out a guy who's so entertaining? You can catch yourself falling into this behavior when you aren'tlistening to other people, when you ignore what they want and whenyou pretend that your desires cost nobody else a price. There arealso external signs. The presence of a manipulator brings tension,strain, complaints and conflict to a situation. Some people usepassive manipulations - they come up with "poor me" scenarios tocoax sympathy and pity out of others. Or they lay subtle guilttrips with the aim of making others think that what they want iswrong. Manipulation comes to an end when you stop assuming that yourdesires are all-important. Then you can reconnect with others andbegin to trust that their desires might be aligned with yours. Whenthere is no manipulation, people feel that what they want counts.They trust that you are on their side; you aren't seen as aperformer or salesperson. No one feels that he or she is beingfooled.
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