Becoming your own best coach is probably the most helpful thing you can do for yourself in life, as well as when you are working on a behavior change:
- A good coach helps you develop resilience; this is especially important as you work on behavior change. Setbacks and failures are not necessarily bad; they are part of the process. Setbacks can make you stronger. As you learn and grow and begin to change, of course you will hit bumps in the road. Everybody does. You will inevitably fall from time to time, but falling down and getting right back up are an essential part of the learning process. Through it, you learn how to be resilient.
- Another important coaching skill is the ability to reframe the way you look at a situation so that you can see it in a positive light. I'm not suggesting that you be unrealistic in a bad situation, but in everything that happens to us there is something positive - even in the toughest times.
- As you coach yourself, understand that the biggest driving force for change must come from within you, not from external forces. Just as you can't force other people to change, neither can anyone force you to change. Your family and friends can certainly be influential in helping you, but that's all they can do. The real work has to come from you. Change does not happen overnight; it comes in stages.
- A good coach helps you find the things you can change and work around the things you cannot. For example, you can optimize your immediate environment so that it has a positive influence on your behavior.
- A good coach recognizes that you are unique and that different strategies work for different people. The trick here is to find what works for you in your own individual way.
- A good coach encourages you to practice goal visualization, which is the ability to visualize yourself having already achieved the goals you are working toward.