- Remember that acceptance does not mean approval! You don't have to like reality, but in order to reduce your suffering, you do have to accept it.
- Be assured that acceptance also doesn't mean that you give up or that you stop trying to change the situation.
- When you get discouraged, remember that accepting reality will help to reduce the intensity of your emotions. It just takes a while. Keep at it!
- Remind yourself that acceptance doesn't happen overnight. The more painful the situation, the harder it will be to accept and the longer it will take to do so.
- Recall situations in the past that you have been able to accept. This can help you keep practicing reality acceptance, even when it feels hardest.
- Bear in mind that acceptance is not the same as forgiveness. We work on acceptance for ourselves; it has nothing to do with the other person. Forgiveness is optional; acceptance is necessary for you to move on with your life.
- If accepting something seems overwhelming, try breaking it down into smaller situations for you to accept.
- Focus on the present; stay out of the future. We can't accept things that haven't happened yet.
- Don't attempt to accept judgments; it can't be done. This is about accepting reality. Judgments are judgments, not facts.
- Remember that accepting reality isn't about making your pain go away. It will reduce your suffering, but pain is a natural part of human life.
Find out more about this book:Calming the Emotional Storm: Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills to Manage Your Emotions and Balance Your Life