There's no easy answer here, except to deputize the person you feel most comfortable with and to name number two the backup, and then tell everyone else and say you love them too much to put them through such grief and burden. Letting them fight it out to decide who can be your proxy? Nah. This is your choice, so don't leave your proxy vulnerable to being second-guessed by everyone who cares about you.
That's why the Constitution spells out a line of succession for president; otherwise the original document could have simply allowed us to pick whomever's especially smart and available at the moment.
Find out more about this book:YOU: The Smart Patient: An Insider's Handbook for Getting the Best Treatment