Dr. Kenneth R Sharp, DO

We live in a culture that believes that the family structure has little or no value. Yes, we pay lip service of how valuable the family is and how it is the basis for any civilized society with great values, but what have we, our corporations, or our government done to show supports for the value of a family?

The politicians talk about family values, but keep spending money on their pork projects and other peripheral projects, instead of on what is the backbone and essence of any healthy society. We continually feel isolated, frustrated, overwhelmed with childcare, by both parents working, by lack of flexible hours in the workplace, and by lack of adequate, affordable health care for our families. Until we absolutely choose to stop this assault on the family system and demand support on levels of businesses and government, we must make the choices we can to transform our own lives so we can discover the fulfillment and happiness in a life of balance.

Parents are so overwhelmed with guilt, worry, and exhaustion, they create poor boundaries to keep the family healthy. Parents put children first, and only if they have time later do they squeeze time in for their marriage relationship and their time alone to practice self-care..

There are state and federal programs designed to help you find a doctor, but the key is to choose the right physician. During your first visit, there are key questions to consider. When you go to their office, do the other patients … look like you? Are the doctors board certified? Do they get along with the staff? If you get along with them, that person becomes your health coach. Because, remember, the word doctor means teacher, so it's a two-way street. If you come up with the right person, you're on the right path.

Going through the process of choosing a doctor can take time, and many people are tempted to rush through it to start their treatment sooner. Keep in mind, though, that most people with cancer have enough time to be sure that they get the best care possible. Ask the doctor who found your cancer whether you need to take action right away or if you can take a short but safe amount of time to check out all your options.

Carefully choosing the doctor you need now (such as a good surgeon, radiologist, and/or oncologist) will pay off for years to come. Your relationship with this person will probably last through treatment into long-term follow-up care.

Before you start looking for a doctor, think about the qualities you want your doctor to have. For instance:

• Choose a doctor who has experience with your type of cancer. Studies show that doctors have better success treating a condition if they have a lot of experience with it.
• You will probably need a doctor who is part of your health plan (often called a preferred provider) and/or accepts your health insurance. Otherwise, you may have to pay for your health care yourself. (For more on this, call us at 1-800-227-2345 for a copy of Health Insurance and Financial Assistance for the Cancer Patient, or read it at cancer.org)
• Pick a doctor who has privileges (is able to practice) at a hospital that you are willing to use. Doctors can only send patients to hospitals where they have admitting privileges.
• Choose a doctor you feel comfortable with. Languages spoken, gender, ethnicity, and educational background may be important factors for you. You may also have strong feelings about personality and bedside manner. Some people prefer their doctors to have a business-like manner, while others value a doctor who can help with their emotional health as well as their medical needs. Many people whose illnesses require long-term treatment prefer a friendly relationship with their doctor.

The next step is to schedule appointments with a few doctors. The most important question to ask them is how much experience they have in treating your type of cancer. If you are meeting with surgeons, find out how often they perform the type of surgery you need, how many of these surgeries they have performed before, and what their success rate is.